Vegetarianism turns you black, Flood on 23 Janunary 2012, and the Shabbat

Meeting proselytizers can be interesting...

I received three divine messages today. It's not everyday you would receive such holy messages from above, so I thought they deserved to be shared. :) Enjoy!

Vegetarianism turns you Black
My vegetarian friends out there beware! It has been divinely revealed to me that vegetarianism, especially vegans, has a side effect of turning you black! Forget tanning, this is guaranteed more effective.

Flood on 23 January 2012
That's right! Its Lunar Chinese New Year. Hate to break this news to you, but I have been divinely informed that on this said date, there would be a great flood in Singapore to cleanse out all our sins. Thailand was a recent victim. Advice? Fly to Israel, you will be safe there.

Observe the Shabbat!
On every Friday, 6pm onwards... you are to isolate yourself from the electricity of our modern world. No computers, no florescent lights. Ouch.